Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!

It’s pretty rare that Jeff and I fish alone these days. In fact, we’ve been known to not wake each other up when we know there aren’t other people waiting for us and then we kick each other later when we’re wishing we were fishing. But this weekend, we had some last minute changes and friends cancel and ended up alone on Saturday. Other than missing an opportunity to take friends that have been waiting to go fishing, I was really pleased to wake up to that piece of info.

We took our chances on a potentially blown river and to our luck, there were just 4 other boats at the launch and the water looked fishable. We headed to the first hole and peacefully started fishing in silence – something that is truly golden and I had no idea how much I missed that. For the most part, Jeff & I don’t display our affection. In fact, we’re much more like fishing buddies when we’re on the water than we are significant others. We got to hug and kiss and high 5 each other without feeling weird or bothering anyone. We hooked 3 of the more beautiful steelhead I’d ever seen, all 13-15lb flawless hens. It got a little chaotic trying to net, motor, and fight the fish with just the 2 of us, especially when he had a fish and I had to run the boat, but it was amazing. I was all smiles and giddy like when I first started fishing. We knew the drill, there were no tangles or competition of getting to fish the better spot or the better bait; it was just 2 best friends sharing their passion.

I have to admit that I let my good mood get away from me when I started thinking about a few people in the world that feel the need to judge you. You know, the kind of people that make assumptions about you and give you dirty looks. The kind of people that you get a bad vibe from even though you’ve never exchanged words. The kind of people that talk down to you or pretend like they know what goes on in your head. I try not to be that person and unfortunately, I’ve always let those people get to me. I am not someone that “doesn’t care what others think”.

I care very much what people think of me, especially when it’s not good. If I’m being a bad person or creating negative spaces in other people’s head, I’d like to remedy that to ensure I’m being the best person I can be. Of course, you can’t control others and I can accept that but if you truly think I’m doing something you don’t agree with, I’d love to get to know that scenario and fix that judgment.

I let one person in particular bring me to silent tears and then started remembering all the bullies from my pre-teen days. The names that will stick with me forever and that although I’d never openly tell them, but the ones that made me cry for hours after school and question existence. After I got off that pity pot, I realized that I wasted several hours of one of the best days I got to have with my best friend because of ONE person. That was the downstream effect. Because I couldn’t understand what I did to make this ONE person dislike me so much. Well, I got over that pretty quickly once I realized that.

I won’t pretend that I’m still not bothered by that person or their judgment on me, but I won’t let him ruin a perfect day that I had with my best friend. But I will remember not to cast judgment on others and to always be kind. I won’t even cast judgment on that person because for all I know, I really did do something to offend them. Or perhaps they are unhappy in their own life. Whatever the issue is, they have their own reasons and I know that I don’t ever want to be THAT person to anyone.

This is why I had an amazing day with my best friend. Life’s lessons are taught in such unexpected places and I’m so grateful that I woke up that morning thinking we had a buddy meeting with us in 30 minutes.